Book Review: Desmond and The Very Mean Word

Authors: Archbishop Desmond Tutu and 
Douglas Carlton Abrams
illustrated by A.G. Ford

From the Book Jacket: Desmond was very proud of his new bicycle. He was the only child in the whole township who had one, and he couldn't wait to show it to Father Trevor. 

When Desmond takes his new bicycle out for a ride, his pride and joy turn to hurt and anger when some boys shout a very mean word at him. No matter what he tries, Desmond can't stop thinking about what the boys said. With the wise advice of kindly Father Trevor, Desmond learns an important lesson about understanding his conflicted feelings and how to forgive.  

Based on a real-life experience from Archbishop Desmond Tutu's own childhood in South Africa, Desmond and the Very Mean Word eloquently shows a child's realization that true forgiveness comes from within and that all people deserve compassion, whether or not they say they are sorry.  

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This has been an important picture book I've been using with our fourth and fifth graders. Sometimes I'm so saddened to see how horribly mean some of them can be to each other. So when this book arrived I knew it had a message that would touch their hearts and hopefully stop the mean words. Reminding kids they can make a decision to stop a hurtful conversation and take responsibility is what this book is all about.

There is a conversation in the book between Father Trevor and Desmond that we focused on:

Father Trevor sighed. "That is the problem, Desmond. You will get them back, and they they will get you back, and soon our whole world will be filled with nothing but 'getting back.'"

And there it is! Stopping the cycle of hurt is what my students need to hear. Especially because some of them come from homes where that cycle is happening. Forgiveness is an absent thing in many of their lives. When I asked if they could define forgiveness - not many hands went up. We teach a lot about apologies but it became clear the other part of the equation needs to be put out there too.

It is never revealed what the mean word is used against Desmond. I was concerned some kids would get hung up on that. We did have a small discussion on what the mean words might have been. But what we kept coming back to was how those words can have such a damaging impact. And that's why we need forgiveness............yep!

A Link to This Book:  

Book Review: Too Tall Houses

Author/Illustrator: Gianna Marino
Interest Level: Ages 3 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Owl and Rabbit are good friends and neighbors and live happily in two small houses next to each other...UNTIL Rabbit's garden grows a little too tall and blocks Owl's view. Now Owl isn't so happy. Maybe building a bigger house will solve the problem. But now Rabbit isn't happy. Maybe building his house taller will be the solution. And before long, there are two very tall houses and two very unhappy neighbors. What will it take to make them friends again?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This book could not have come at a better time. I am doing some reteaching with grades K-2 on solving problems. Owl and Rabbit are a great example of what happens when you argue and fight. They are also very stubborn and won't give in because each wants their way and wants to be right. They try and one up each other by building their houses taller and taller....which was a great metaphor for how big they are making the problem.

It has a very cute ending showing a fixed friendship and a solution at work. The morale of the story is it's a huge waste of time to involve yourself in negative behavior when faced with a problem - it only makes things worse and results in the loss of a friend. This generation needs LOTS of conflict resolution encouragement. Great book.

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find  Helpful: 

 

Book Reviews: Lets Be Enemies and Enemy Pie

Lets Be Enemies

Author: Janice May Udry
Illustrated by Maurice Sendak
Interest Level: Ages 3-7

Description from the Book Jacket: James used to be my friend. But today he is my enemy. James and John are best friends - or at least they used to be. They shared pretzels, umbrellas, and even chicken pox. Now James always wants to be boss, and John doesn't want to be friends anymore. But when he goes to James' house to tell him so, something unexpected happens.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Recently my five year old nephew got into a pushing and shoving match with a fellow classmate. When my sister picked him up after school he told her about his "fight" with absolute honesty and remorse. He then pointed to a boy in the parking lot who was standing with his mother and said, "That's him." To her astonishment, he marched over to his "enemy" and gave him a big hug. He then declared, "But now we are friends, Mom." I smiled when I heard this story. I was thinking about what compelled my nephew to go in for the hug and be apologetic. And it's because my sister has taught him reconciliation skills. These are skills I work heavily on with students. I started reading Lets Be Enemies to the K-1 grades last year. Friendship and conflict resolution go hand in hand. Guess what - kids will clash. But it's how they reconcile and forgive that matters most. I love teaching kids the art of the apology. PS. This is a tiny book. But so cute. First time I read it I kind of giggled at the way their problem escalates and becomes bigger and bigger - isn't that always the way it happens?

Enemy Pie

Author: Derek Munson
Illustrated by Tara Calahan King
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

Description from the Book website: It was the perfect summer. That is, until Jeremy Ross moved into the house down the street and became Enemy Number One. Luckily, Dad has a surefire way to get rid of enemies-Enemy Pie. But one of the secret ingredients is spending an entire day with the enemy!

In this funny yet endearing story, one little boy learns an effective recipe for turning a best enemy into a best friend. With charming illustrations that bring to life the difficulties and ultimate rewards of making new friends, Enemy Pie serves up a sweet lesson in friendship.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This one continues to be a crowd pleaser with the students. The first few years I read Enemy Pie I kept it light and fluffy and danced around the topic of being a good friend. I can finally say after years of reading it, I've now mastered the real message in the book - you can attract more bees with honey than vinegar. Sometimes I wonder what happened to just good ol' fashioned kindness. I ask the kids during the story to look around at one another and ask themselves -  Who would I want to serve a slice of enemy pie to? Who do I need to get to know better? Because maybe if I got to know them better they may actually turn out to be my friend. And of course I love stories using adults as positive role models. This book has a good principal to it.

Book Review: Don't Squeal Unless It's A Big Deal: A Tale of Tattletales

Author: Jeanie Franz Ransom

Illustrated by Jackie Urbanovic

Interest Level: Ages 5-8

About This Book: It all started when Jessica trit-trotted up to Mrs. McNeal's desk... "Peter pulled my pigtail!" And soon..."Rachel took my marker!" "Frankie called sookie a fat sow!" "Justin ripped my paper!" !" "Can anyone tell me what squealing is?" Mrs. McNeal shouted, waving her cowbell.

Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal helps kids figure out the difference between Big Deals that need telling and kid-sized problems that kids can work out themselves, With a note to teachers and parents about why children squeal and how to help them deal on their own. -from the book jacket

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Tattling. Let me define it for you.....behavior by children that will send teachers and parents over the edge to the land of unhappiness and complete insanity. Tattling has been around forever. How am I an expert on this? Because I used to tattle on my sisters when I was a kid. Why did I tattle? Oh, I SO loved getting the attention (look Mom, I know the rules!), liked being bossy at times, and it was also a nice revenge move on my sisters.  I know. Shameful. And now the revenge has been turned on me. I work with about four hundred K-5 students and yep.....they sure can tattle! So being the proactive lady I am....I have scoured the EARTH for SOLID books on tattling. I say solid because I am not a fan of books that make kids feel bad for tattling. Not cool. Don't Squeal Unless It's a Big Deal is definitely a favorite. I work really hard on helping students see the difference between small problems ("Laura looked at me!") and big problems ("Laura punched me!"). Hint: make sure to incorporate lessons on how to problem solve with tattling lessons. If they truly don't know how to solve a problem - then of course they'll tattle! I seriously notice a decrease in tattling when the kids feel educated and AWARE of their behavior. And of course I have a blast with this lesson when I use my trusty pig puppets. The kids love coming up and using the puppets to figure out how not to sweat the small stuff.

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: The Sandbox: A Book About Fairness

Author: Don Rowe
Illustrated by Tim Archbold
Interest Level: Ages 4-7

About This Book: Johnny is friends with Tim at school and friends with Kylie at home. When Mrs. Smith asks Tim and Johnny to let Kylie join the game they are playing in the sandbox, they do not want to include her. "It's not fair!" they all say. Mrs. Smith agrees. A helpful teacher/parent guide is provided to ask insightful questions that will stimulate conversation and encourage problem solving skills.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Have you ever given kids/students directions on how you would like them to play together? And then you look over and they are completely arguing and it's an all out war?!? This is a great opportunity to use stories that build community. The Sandbox is the perfect read for increasing peace and decreasing conflict. All kinds of learning lessons in this one. I totally dig the ending because it does not end on a super happy note. It ends with the kids experiencing the consequences and the teacher feeling frustrated. And here's why I love that - because it allows the students to sort out what went wrong and why nothing went right for the kids in the story. (and don't get me wrong....I love a happy ending but I need books that allow us to do some community thinking) So how can we avoid and prevent problems during playtime? Oh yes, get your behavior T-Charts ready. What should play look, feel, and sound like? Music to my ears! Trying to create a positive learning community can be difficult when you don't have the right resources and tools. Behavior can be really frustrating, add this one to your classroom management library if you are tired of being reactive and ready to be more proactive.


Find this book at Picture Window Books.

Book Review: Problems With Pete The Pencil And Eddie The Eraser

Written and illustrated by 3rd grade students of Kingsland Elementary School in Spring Valley, Minnesota

Interest Level: Ages 5-11

About This Book: Big problems ensue for a little boy named Bradly when Pete the Pencil and Eddie the Eraser begin to disagree about who is more important! Bradly is excited when his mother brings home a new package of pencils. The next day at school, problems start. The pencil and the eraser start fighting. They erase Bradly's work, put holes in it, etc. which gets Bradly in a lot of trouble with his teacher and his parents. This is a humorous book that reminds us about the importance of getting along. This children's story is written by the third-grade students of Kingsland Elementary School in Spring Valley, Minnesota.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I nabbed this little gem at the school book fair a couple of years ago. It has never failed me on the importance of team work, respect, and problem solving. Arguing is a lose-lose situation for all involved. This book sends that message loud and clear. Plus, it's funny and engaging. Using pencils and erasers as props is also a hit with the kids. Problems With Pete The Pencil And Eddie The Eraser is written by a third grade class, the students find it inspiring that other kids are taking on social issues through writing. Very cool.