Book Review: Desmond and The Very Mean Word

Authors: Archbishop Desmond Tutu and 
Douglas Carlton Abrams
illustrated by A.G. Ford

From the Book Jacket: Desmond was very proud of his new bicycle. He was the only child in the whole township who had one, and he couldn't wait to show it to Father Trevor. 

When Desmond takes his new bicycle out for a ride, his pride and joy turn to hurt and anger when some boys shout a very mean word at him. No matter what he tries, Desmond can't stop thinking about what the boys said. With the wise advice of kindly Father Trevor, Desmond learns an important lesson about understanding his conflicted feelings and how to forgive.  

Based on a real-life experience from Archbishop Desmond Tutu's own childhood in South Africa, Desmond and the Very Mean Word eloquently shows a child's realization that true forgiveness comes from within and that all people deserve compassion, whether or not they say they are sorry.  

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This has been an important picture book I've been using with our fourth and fifth graders. Sometimes I'm so saddened to see how horribly mean some of them can be to each other. So when this book arrived I knew it had a message that would touch their hearts and hopefully stop the mean words. Reminding kids they can make a decision to stop a hurtful conversation and take responsibility is what this book is all about.

There is a conversation in the book between Father Trevor and Desmond that we focused on:

Father Trevor sighed. "That is the problem, Desmond. You will get them back, and they they will get you back, and soon our whole world will be filled with nothing but 'getting back.'"

And there it is! Stopping the cycle of hurt is what my students need to hear. Especially because some of them come from homes where that cycle is happening. Forgiveness is an absent thing in many of their lives. When I asked if they could define forgiveness - not many hands went up. We teach a lot about apologies but it became clear the other part of the equation needs to be put out there too.

It is never revealed what the mean word is used against Desmond. I was concerned some kids would get hung up on that. We did have a small discussion on what the mean words might have been. But what we kept coming back to was how those words can have such a damaging impact. And that's why we need forgiveness............yep!

A Link to This Book:  

Books Supporting No-Name Calling Week

I've blogged about A LOT of books covering the topic of bullying. I went through my list and narrowed it down to ones that have name-calling or put-downs in them. Hope these will help you kick off No Name-Calling Week. Click on the title to read my review.

If you think I should have included one that is not on this list, please tell me the title in the comments section below and I will add it. Remember, stick to ones focusing on name-calling and put downs.

Crow Boy
Chibi is picked on because he is different. He is misunderstood and judged by the other children. So much to learn from this beautiful story. It's a long time favorite of mine.

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon
Molly Lou Melon is what I want every girl and boy to be. She shows us how to stand up for ourselves in the sweetest kindest way. Always believe in yourself no matter what others say!

Simon's Hook
Need strategies for name-calling? Look no further. This is a VERY popular book with my students. The metaphor is perfect. Don't take the hook!

Blue Cheese Breath and Stinky Feet
If you are being targeted by someone - you need a plan to not be their bulls eye. This has brought a lot of awareness to students about how to identify bullying. And after you identify it, how to deal with it.

My Best Friend
This one is asked to be read over and over by my K-2 students. It's about relational aggression and there is also a little name-calling going on. The message is to find a friend that treats you with kindness and respect. Don't hang around those who want to put you down.

Don't Laugh At Me
Maybe a way to combat name-calling is through empathy. This one surely builds it.

Just Kidding
A lot of kids would like to minimize put-downs by using the phrase "just kidding!" Trudy Ludwig teaches kids the problem with not taking responsibility and how to stand up for yourself assertively.

Thank You, Mr. Falker
This gets to the core of why name-calling is so destructive. Imagine struggling in school and then being taunted and teased by a classmate who calls you "dumb." But it's Mr. Falker who puts a stop to it. Reminder to my students how powerful adults are in stopping bullying.

The Hundred Dresses
At the end of this story there is regret for the teasing and name-calling. If you see someone being teased or put-down - SPEAK UP. Then you will never have regret.

One
A very creative take on bullying. Get ready to be blown away by this powerful book. It just takes ONE.

Good-Bye Bully Machine
The icky bully machine thrives off name-calling. Learn how to un-plug it with this AWESOME book. We are currently reviewing it from last year.

Edwardo the Horriblest Boy in the Whole Wide World
Edwardo is constantly put-down....by adults. This also explains the damage a put-down can do compared to a put-up!

Not So Tall for Six
Being picked on for your height is not cool. But Kylie Bell deals with it like a pro.

 The Blushful Hippopotamus
This hippopotamus keeps getting name-called by his sister. But it's his good friend Lombard who re-builds his self-esteem. 

The Meanest Thing To Say: A Little Bill Book for Beginning Readers, Level 3 (Oprah's Book Club)
Little Bill learns how to deal with insults.