Book Reviews: Oliver at the Window and Loon Summer

Author: Elizabeth Shreeve
illustrated by Candice Hartsough McDonald
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: When his parents separate Oliver must brave many new changes. He shuffles back and forth between his parents' homes. And now he goes to preschool every day. He doesn't know the kids there or his new teacher. Isolated and alone at first, Oliver slowly becomes part of the gang. Eventually he's able to help the newest student feel welcome at school. And his lion stays with Oliver everywhere he goes, giving him just the thing he needs to adjust to all the changes: courage.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Oliver at the Window is a MUST read for children who are feeling withdrawn or sad after a divorce. On top of those difficult feelings, sometimes kids have to move and change schools because of the divorce. It's no wonder detachment can become an issue for students. Oliver is experiencing this detachment. This simple and sweet story will empower and encourage kids as they are going through this experience....and they will come out okay.

Oliver eventually begins connecting with the other kids and participating in classroom activities. Sometimes we just need a little time. A new girl shows up with the same sort of detachment going on. But it's Oliver who steps in to support and guide her because of what his own experience has taught him. It's important for kids to know that through their own life journeys - they can help each other. Oliver is a wonderful role model.

Author: Barbara Santucci
illustrated by Andrea Shine
Interest Level: Ages 9-11

From the Book Jacket: My first morning on the lake I hear the loons. "Oh-OOOO-oooo." Their sad songs remind me Mom isn't coming to the cottage this summer.

Rainie knows that this summer will be different. As she and her dad spend time together at the cottage. Rainie is painfully aware of her mom's absence. Throughout the summer, Rainie watches a pair of loons on the lake - watches them lay eggs, hatch babies, and be together as a loon family.

"You told me loons stay together for life. Why can't you and Mom?" she asks her dad.

Loon Summer is an authentic hopeful story of a child adjusting to the difficult reality of changes in her own family. As summer progresses, Rainie grows in her trust and understanding of the unconditional love each of her parents will always have for her.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Divorce reminds me of the grieving process. It's a loss...a letting go. The absoluteness of a new beginning can be especially difficult. Rainie's story will be a familiar and helpful one to many children. She still wishes and hopes things could go back to the way they used to be. I appreciate divorce bibliotherapy validating those thoughts and feelings. Children will also find healing and comfort in Rainie's dads words to her, "My wish is that you'll never forget how much Mom and I both love you. Even when one of us isn't with you." This is what kids want to hear....love. I'm excited to have this in my lending library to kids and parents. 


A Link to These Books and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: My Mom's Wedding

Author: Eve Bunting

Illustrated by Lisa Papp

Interest Level: Ages 5-8

From the Book Jacket: A child of divorce, seven-year-old Pinky is torn by feelings of loyalty to her father and affection for the man her mom is about to marry. As she prepares to be the ring bearer for the upcoming wedding. Pinky is both excited and reluctant, but mostly she feels guilty. It's not until she accepts that her parents will never get back together that Pinky understands it's okay to love both her dads. As non-traditional families increasingly become the norm, this positive story will continue to grow in relevance. My Mom's Wedding offers a comforting message and helps children to work out their conflicted emotions about divorce. Parents, too, have something to learn from the amicable kindness that Pinky's mother, father and stepfather show each other.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: "Do you have any books on divorce?" This is a question I get a lot from parents. When I first became an elementary school counselor I had maybe one on my shelf. I did have a book list with lots of recommendations listing divorce bibliotherapy. Did I actually read any of them at the time to see if they were any good? Um no. Eventually, I went and checked out some of the books on my list. I realized I was recommending books I did not like and wouldn't put my counselor stamp of approval on. So over the years, I've accumulated a lot of good books on divorce. And I'm happy to not just hand out my list, but allow parents and children to actually check them out or read them in my office. My Mom's Wedding is a new addition to the list and my shelf. 

A lot of kids at my school will relate to Pinky's story and her feelings. Students often want to talk about and let me know the changes or additions happening to their family. Some of them are excited about the changes but also have a hard time figuring out where their feelings fit between their parents. There is a lot of validation in this story. It ends with Pinky's father attending her mom's wedding and being supportive. Now, not all situations end this happily. However, from a counseling perspective I see it as an opening to talk about optimism, positive perspective, and that it's okay to wish for such peace. Not every child's book on divorce has to mirror the current situation in their life. Look for and use the nuggets of wisdom you find on certain pages.....that's how bibliotherapy should be used. I've put a lot of books back on the shelf because I felt they didn't hit the mark exactly. That's a mistake I don't make anymore. My Mom's Wedding may not be every child's exact story, but lots of good nuggets in it for kids. Very thankful it's in my collection.

Below are a few really good workbooks I use to help kids cope with separation, family changes, and divorce. Art therapy is SO healing. These workbooks give kids a much needed outlet. If you are a counselor, make sure you have these on your shelf. They are so awesome as a communication tool for feelings. (I used to use the Helping Kids Deal With Divorce - The Sandcastles Way Workbooks, but I don't think they publish them anymore. Darn!)

When Mom and Dad Separate

Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief From Divorce

written by Marge Heegaard

to be illustrated by Children

When a Parent Marries Again

Children Can Learn to Cope with Family Change

written by Marge Heegaard

to be illustrated by Children

The Divorce Workbook

A Guide for Kids and Families

written by Sally B Ives

(no image)

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: Howard B Wigglebottom Learns About Mud and Rainbows

Author: Howard Binkow
Illustrated by Susan F 
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

About This Book: The author of the "Howard B. Wigglebottom" series shows the caring side of Howard the bunny. Howard likes to make things better for those around them. When he sees a need, he meets it. He helps a classmate get to school, helps the class pets get exercise, and does some much needed cleaning for his Momma. He is a shining example of kindness and helpfulness. But one day he comes upon a need he can't fix. His best friend Ali's parents have been fighting a lot and she thinks it's all her fault. For the first time, Howard sees he might not be able to fix Ali's problem. All he can think to do to solve the problem is listen to his friend's feelings. He turns to Momma bunny for her expert advice - "When we find something we can't fix, we can change the way we think and feel about it."  She also points out that listening is the biggest gift he can give his friend. Later, as Howard explains to Ali it's not her fault that her parents are having problems he accidentally takes a dive in the mud. "Howard learned that sometimes life gives you RAINBOWS and sometimes you get MUD!" Life is all about ups and downs, it's how we deal with it that matters most. Ali learns this through her great friend - Howard B. Wigglebottom. The illustrations don't disappoint and border on adorable.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a very nurturing read for students. I just love it. What a FANTASTIC book to bring out the loving caring sides of kids. I am constantly noticing the GOOD I see in students. They are always wanting to help those around them. This story encourages healthy friendship. Part of being a "healthy" friend is recognizing when a problem is maybe too big to solve and may require adult help or advice. And maybe sometimes, being a good friend is being a good listener. Love that! We can't fix everything but we can sure just be there for each other. The other reason I love this story is it helps kids whose parents are going through a divorce or are fighting. It is so important they hear it's not their fault. We assume they already know this - they don't. One thing I would love with this story is a Howard B. Wigglebottom puppet. The students would love it. There isn't one yet but I hope one gets created.

Check out the author's website. All kinds of cool features for kids, educators, and parents.

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: Standing On My Own Two Feet - A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce

Author: Tamara Schmitz

Interest Level: Ages 4-7

About This Book: Addison is a regular kid whose parents are going through a divorce, but he knows that no matter what happens, his parents will always love him. At home, at soccer practice, and even at tae kwon do lessons, Mom and Dad will always be there to cheer him on! The text in this beautifully illustrated picture book is inspiring for both children and parents alike, and assures kids that they will always have two parents to lean on, just as they have two strong feet to stand on.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I'm all for the power of positive thinking. It's nourishing - especially during complicated family times. Children don't have to be the victims of divorce. Standing On My Own Two Feet teaches simple lessons: that the divorce is not their fault, parents love you unconditionally, and emotional strength can be developed through positive thoughts. Kids perceive divorce completely differently than the adults in their lives. Sometimes on the outside they may look like they are going strong, but often on the inside they are muddling through. Make sure you provide access to bibliotherapy as part of their healing process. I use this one quite a bit.  

 

Check out author Tamara Schmitz's 6 Golden Rules to Help Children Through Divorce

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: Do You Sing Twinkle? A Story About Remarriage and New Family

Author: Sandra Levins
illustrated by Bryan Langdo
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

About This Book: Mom has a new family! She has a new husband who is not my dad, and worst of all, new kids. Girls! Just as it feels for the young child in "Do You Sing Twinkle?" living apart from a parent can be a hard adjustment for kids. And, when that parent remarries and has stepchildren, things can get really confusing for kids! Told from a young boy's point of view, the book sensitively addresses many questions that children may have while adjusting to remarriage and joint-custody situations. Kids and parents will learn good and easy ways to stay connected all around helping kids to feel special and loved. A 'Note to Parents' is included that will help parents talk to their children and deal with common but difficult emotions as they adjust to all the changes in their lives. This title addresses directly the kinds of issues kids face when parents divorce and remarry. It tackles difficulties of separated parents, stepparents, and step-siblings. It is a 'read aloud' book that is suitable for very young children but readable by second graders.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Some sources estimate the divorce rate in the United States exceeds 50%. So as a school counselor, I've got my hands full trying to help kids who are struggling with family strife. There is a very special place in my heart for children who are experiencing the sadness of divorce. Do You Sing Twinkle? is a bibliotherapy MUST. It's not like children have an on and off switch for their emotions. It inevitably 'bleeds' into their school day. There is an example of this when the young boy has a bad day at school. This bad day occurs after a weekend transition between homes.

I do not have a good day.

I do not feel like reading so I say

"Pass" when it is my turn.

I shove my partner

at the drinking fountain.

I throw woodchips at a

first-grader on the playground.

I punch Zoey Enos in the arm.

My teacher calls my dad.

I'm in big trouble, mister!

I can't tell you how many times I've seen this behavior. Sometimes it's attributed to unresolved anger, unresolved sadness, unresolved grief....notice I keep using the word unresolved. Author Sandra Levins takes a whole family approach to healing all of these unresolved feelings. I felt like she was trying to help the parents "be there" for their kids. This is a healing book for your shelf. If your family is in a similar situation, don't hesitate to get Do You Sing Twinkle? A Story About Remarriage and New Family.

A Link To This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: Charlie Anderson

Author: Barbara Abercrombie
illustrated by Mark Graham
Interest Level: Ages 5-9


About This Book: Two sisters, Elizabeth and Sarah, adopt the cat who appears on their doorstep every evening--but never during the day. Soon he is sleeping on their beds and answering to the name of Charlie. The girls visit their father in the city every weekend, but on weekdays, when they are home with their mother, Charlie is always there by suppertime. One night the cat doesn't come. The next day the girls discover that he lives in a house with a family on the other side of the woods, where he is called Anderson, fed by day and let out by night. They all call the cat "Charlie Anderson," and realize that he, like Elizabeth and Sarah, "has two houses, two beds, two families who love him." Graham's soft-toned, realistic paintings of the charming little girls and the furry gray cat are delightfully appealing, perfectly conveying the mood and message of the story.

Just like Elizabeth and Sarah, 

Charlie has two houses,

two beds,

two families who love him.

 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I found this story sweet and touching. Charlie Anderson makes kids feel better about going back and forth between two homes.... and through a cat! It's a lovely story with a very nurturing ending. This is an important and relevant book to today's youth. The only bummer is that there are not more books out there like Charlie Anderson. The message is that you can love two families. So powerful!

Book Review: My Mother's House, My Father's House

Author: C.B. Christiansen

illustrated by Irene Trivas

Interest Level: K-3

About The Book: A little girl tells how she lives with her mother during the week and her father on the weekends. . . . The girl feels comfortable and at home in both places, but has definite ideas about how she will live when she grows up.

Why It's On The Bookshelf: This is a common situation for many children who go back and forth between parents. Or as one student said to me, "They share me." In my school, this book is very popular with children of divorce. They relate to the little girl in the story and are able to share what their 'back and forth' looks like and feels like. If it gets kids to open up about their lives, I feel like it's a winner. My Mother's House, My Father's House offers validation and hope. I say hope because of the last page in this book. The little girl has a vision of growing up and having her own home one day and not having to go back and forth anymore. It's an older book.....but a good one. I'm not always impressed with divorce bibliotherapy, but this one will never leave my shelf.


A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: When They Fight

Author: Kathryn White
Illustrated by Cliff Wright 
Interest Level: K-3

About This Book: In a stressful family situation, children can find it difficult to express their feelings. This book provides a wonderful opportunity for children and parents to talk about their feelings together....It confirms for children many of the feelings they experience during parental fights - the fear, isolation and sadness - and yet ends with an uplifting resolution. Not only families but also mental health professionals can use this impressive book as a jumping-off point for healing discussion. Dr. Barbara Kezur, Ph.D, Psychology

When they fight,

the world shakes.

The house quakes.

When they are friends,

the sun comes out.

I float on the clouds.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I purchased this book for a 8 year old boy who was going through an extremely rough time when his parents split up. There was a lot of fighting going on in front of him.  Kids often don't have the words to articulate the pain they are feeling when they witness a fight (argument, verbal abuse) between parents. When parents bad-mouth each other it goes straight to the core of the child and destroys their self-esteem. Who knew that a story about a badger could be so healing for kids.......get this one on your shelf.


A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:

Book Review: Mom and Dad Glue

Author: Kes Gray
Illustrated by Lee Wildish
Interest Level: K-3


About the Book: Divorce is an unhappy fact that affects many children's lives, and the story told in this picture book was written for just such little boys and girls. Its message can help soothe their feelings and make them aware that their parents' separation is in no way their fault. A little boy tells his story in simple verse as he discovers that . . .

"My mom and dad are broken,
I don't know what to do.
My mom and dad have come undone,
I need to find some glue."

He goes into a store that sells many different kinds of glue, but of course, there is no glue that will repair a broken marriage. With some gentle words from the store's proprietress, he learns that he can pull his life together and smile again. Parents who are divorcing will value this book as a story they can read to their child and help him understand that although their marriage has not worked out, they still love him as they always have and always will.

Why It's On My Bookshelf: The first time I read this book, I got really emotional. Not many bibliotherapy books do that to me. This is a good one. When I grew up, no one ever talked about divorce. Kids just kept all of their feelings bottled up. Mom and Dad Glue opens the door to healing and helping kids realize it's not their fault and also not their job to fix the parents.  This is one of the best children's books about divorce I have ever read. Visit the Kids In The Middle website, it's a helpful resource for parents and children who are struggling with divorce.